why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

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every knight i see an owl at window

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Sixty... eight

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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