What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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