If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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