A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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