what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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