Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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A young baby died.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops