Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Steve Jobs is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

if you are reading this your wasting your time

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops