An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

rabbits running in my bathroom!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

thumb_up thumb_down +27

1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops