What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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A jew walks in the german bar, the jew is captured tortured, raped, and shot along with his entire family

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you give like i give lomain

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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why did the black guy die? cancer

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

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Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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