What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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