Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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WILLYS

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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