Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops