Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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