John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops