SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ms Leong Sux

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops