What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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