Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? "The Sky is that same reddish gray" Lance the chicken Thought to himself as he looked out into the busy intersection of Franklin and 4th....The city was more bustling that day then it had previously been the week before..."Maybe its because its friday..another weekend of family fun i guess" Lance said to himself...but then he remembered it was only tuesday..the days have all meshed together like some kind of various meats thrown together last second in an omelet...As lance looked into the stream of cars he wondered if somewhere..in some alternate dimension or some far away planet..that he could be riding in one of those cars..filled with his wife..his kids and all the happiness that you could fit into a tiny 4 door... But in between the dazzling stream of colours he could see a figure..staring right back at him..the figure was of another chicken..But a gruesome sorrowing excuse for a chicken..But something about that estranged being brought him somewhere////brought him to a place he never wanted to think about..he looked into the sky hoping to break eye contact..but instead was thrown into a turmoil of hate, regret and sorrow.. He looked down at his wedding ring..now only a piece of gold and silver..meaningless. "How Could I have done that to the one I loved the most...I made a promise to protect her"....he still remembers her last words to him..the breath she whispered to him moments before she past.."We live as slaves, to love what god takes away"...the one thing Lance Remembers most about that day was the obtuse shade of the sky..That Reddish Gray..It was almost as if the sky was red with his anger at the world...They Had just started their life together...not even 2 hours after she had been so violently ripped from his heart..he began returning to the drugs, sex and abuse that she saved him from...or tried to save him from..looking back at it//he tried filling that hole in his heart with whatever he could find..until his search lead him to that intersection..the intersection of Franklin and 4th...the day was growing old.... and his shadow growing long..soon the traffic began to to dwindle and he finally saw the figure..He finally saw what he had become..in the reflection of an adjacent building..he finally saw what society has made him...a monster...he never thought it would've came to this..everyone has plans for their lives..until they get hit. what is life without a purpose? what is purpose without love? Tormented by the monsters and demons of his past...he took one last look into the sky...closed his eyes.. and blindly walked into the now busy intersection..hoping to find peace...on the Other Side.....

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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\ \ \\ \\ >\/ 7 _.-(6' \ (=__._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. \ > ,.-' >.'

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops