Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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Black people stink of shite!

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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no.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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