Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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