Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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