A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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