Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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