Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock No solicitors

thumb_up thumb_down -17

if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops