My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

This is an anti- joke

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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