whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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what is black white and red all over? A black and white movie with the first violent color leave a comment if this joke is duped.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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