Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Why was the man sad His got raped

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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