- Anti Joke

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken