Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

Why was the man sad His got raped

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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