- Anti Joke

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

Finally, lets take the fight two the streets shall we, no I am not asking, asking is for pussies: YOU VIOLATED AND KILLED MY FATHER! YES YES WHAT IS IT WITH YOU WOMEN ANYWAYS I VIOLATED YOUR MOTHER TOO, BUT YOU DON`T HEAR HER WHINING ABOUT IT! In fact tell her to stop her sending me nude shots, I prefer it when she sends me those she takes of you in your sleep... Your friendly Neighborhood R*pist Moral Man:The day Moral Man graced your village was the worst day of your life, for me it was fathers day! Literally, do you really think I killed your father? I would never comitt suicide! Now, let us celebrate our reunion with some... "Moral WINcest" Barlog: Yes we would like to see the tapes you made for me banging her mother. two Super Turbo edition hours later: YEEEEEEEEEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEES!

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops