How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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Justin Bieber

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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