Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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