what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

thumb_up thumb_down -13

your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops