Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops