How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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