AIDS

I put my baby in a microwave.

what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

knock knock whos there open open who the door

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

derp

How do you make a man cry? you torture him

whos a sick fuck? jake morris

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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