Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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