What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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