whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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learn. advance!

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hi

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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