Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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