A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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Burp

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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Death by kayak

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops