What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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