What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Who wants water? I do.

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops