A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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Knock knock Come in

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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