A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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