Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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Did you know? . You already know!

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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