What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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