What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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