How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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How High is a Chinese man

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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