What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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