Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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tim has no humor

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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