How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Dick Cheney That's the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ehh

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +11

1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops